Can you 5 second rule a whole chicken twice?

Start

Finish

Dinner went smoothly tonight. Preparations began early, around 4:30p.m. EST, when Paige removed a partially thawed whole 3.85lb chicken from the refrigerator. From extensive research (google) we learned that a chicken of this size should take approximately 2 hours to cook, however the partial frozonality skewed this approximation greatly. As well as the fact we left both the lizards and the gizzards inside...only to be found three hours later.

Troubled beginnings


Since Aubrey and I have moved in together we have previously baked 2 other whole chickens successfully. Long ago, when we lived in less than desirable circumstances we had a few days of freedom. On Valentines day we bought a whole chicken, baked it, drank beer, watched buffy, then consumed the chicken and saw New Moon together. It was perfect. I believe that this meal is symbolic of a utopian day in my life and to quote Aubrey "Yes, I agree."

This chicken however was a lot more difficult than our first. It began with questions--is the inside frozen? is there extra parts in there? We decided that it didn't matter as long as they were not wrapped in plastic and proceeded to season. Somewhere in this process I decided the chicken should be moved closer to the oven in hopes that the warmth of the oven would help warm up the insides of the bird (pre-heat the oven, and the bird).  Aubrey refers to this as "cooking foreplay." It is not without danger though. On it's journey across the 2 feet that is our kitchen floor the bird just kept moving in the pan, it was so well sprayed with "Pam," I couldn't predict where it was going to go. The weights did not shift in my favor and the bird and casserole dish plummeted to the ground. Aubrey recalls this differently, more of a flying action--"I was standing in the foyer and the next thing I knew... it just flew...and all I could think was....Get the bird!!!" I stood staring vacantly, this must have been dark magic. Perhaps 5 seconds later the bird was rinsed in the sink and then placed in a skillet because it's home had shattered.

The roasting
All this aside, a new cooking pan was found and the bird was roasted for 2.15 hours. At this time our dollar store thermometer which we thrusted into the bird informed us it was done. It lied.  We unknowingly prepared our plates.

Also pictured: Broccoli and instant mashed potatoes

 This is when we also discovered that our thermometer was unreliable. Well crap. At this time Aubrey's boyfriend also called and distracted her leaving me with this crisis.

"Money Shot"

So we microwaved our plates and ate it anyway and returned the  bird to the oven.

One hour later...

...the crisis had ended, and the extra inside parts had been removed and disposed of. We ate more chicken and disposed of the bones. We made one final wish upon our wishbone, and continued with the night.

"To healthy and not overly frequent bowel movements"

In celebration of this blog, Aubrey and I (Paige) decided to go all out with our first meal--even though we did not know that we would be creating such greatness at the time.

"an inspiration"

Tonight we had fiber rich spaghetti (smart taste, thin spaghetti) with meat sauce (ragu and ground beef), garlic bread, antipasto salad (from grandma...thanks!), and prepackaged cookies (from mom, not pictured).  It was delicious and filling, though I thought the pasta needed some extra garlic salt but Aubrey felt it was perfectly fine and therefore optional. I still say salt is the best condiment.

We have two options for eating within our household, the card table, and the coffee table--tonight was a coffee table sort of night. It was really quite moving being we are currently in the process of creating the last supper (via puzzle pictured), it was a profound experience in connection to this new blogging endeavor.  The table choice for dining changes, it depends on the meal and whether we desire to play puzzle or play bridge after.